This is another reminder of what I didn't have, I think I need to say here that I'm not bitter, just sad - wish things could have been different.
My Sister & I joke about our childhood now, I guess if we didn't we'd be crying a lot!!! It's funny how innocent & trusting children are. We never realized as children that we lived any differently than anyone else. I guess it came to me sometime in High School, going to other kids houses & seeing their Mom actually up & interacting with them (ours spent weeks at a time in bed) in a loving & "motherly" way (I didn't know that didn't mean calling names, throwing things at, or throwing me into walls!) & their Dad playing games with them or just hanging out & having general conversation (ours was almost always drunk by the time he came home from work & almost never had anything nice to say to me!). I remember coming home from school when I was in Kindergarten (we were on split session & I went in the morning so I was home by 12:30) & my Mom would make me go to bed with her (she'd mostly make me lay on the floor because I "wiggled" too much) until "Dad" came home from work around 4:30-5:00 (drunk, didn't quite get it then, but...).
Right now there is NO ONE else in the entire world I would rather hang out with than my daughter. Her laugh is infectious. She's kind & loving. She has the most active imagination. She's just a blast to be with : ) I look forward to her coming home from school. We LOVE to have sleepovers in the "Mommy - Baby Bed" & watch scary movies together. She LOVES to read with me. We LOVE to play with our puppies together (she copies everything I do with them : ) I can't imagine EVER doing to her the things that were done to me as a child. Don't get me wrong, she is 8 & she does have her bad days, we all do, but for the most part, she's a very good kid & I am truly Blessed to have been given the opportunity to be part of her life!!! She has definitely saved me from myself, there was a period of time when I was on a self-destructive path, I don't know where I'd be now if it weren't for my daughter!
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